So, I'm stuck in a phase between constant doubt and rejection. Someone will start talking to me....and then totally hard to read and I don't hear from them. There's only one guy I'm talking to now and I hope that it works out. I doubt myself a lot though, I'm trying not to. I hope he was truthful as well by telling me that he wasn't talking to other girls. I don't want to be hurt again. No more intended heartbreak. I can't say I won't get my heart broken again...it's bound to happen. I just hope the next person who does it will actually be sorry for it.
I want someone who's not going to be a coward. By this, I mean they know that they have a good thing and they'll hold onto it...not throw it away. When things get difficult, he'll stick around for me because he actually means that he loves me. He's not a fake. I want someone upfront and honest with me. I want a man, not a boy who will run and hide.
Maybe the one that I have my eye on will surprise me even more. Who knows. I just need to let things happen rather than to try to make them happen. Just let me know how you truly feel and that will be enough. I promise.
Sunday, July 24, 2011
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Did I jinx it????
It's amazing how one thing can turn your world around. Brittany and I have found a house that we are proudly going to call home. It's really cute and cozy, and the location's not so bad either :) Moving in August 1st. That of course brings up the fact that whatshisface still owes me money. This very subject makes me sick to my stomach. I feel cheated in more ways than one...of course the obvious.
On a slightly different note, I partially feel like I'm jinxing everything. I'm trying not to get my heart set on things because I'm scared of getting hurt or disappointed. Why should I take risks if nobody else is putting themselves out there. Blah, blah, blah.....you're playing it safe.....yeah, yeah. I want someone to prove to me that I should take a chance and then I will. Somebody's gotta show me a sign. The Batman symbol by chance? Better yet, just give me Batman :)
My three days of fun and playtime are over. It's time to get back to work. I don't know.....I just wish someone would tell me everything is going to work out the way I want it to. That'd be nice. Anyways, until next time!
On a slightly different note, I partially feel like I'm jinxing everything. I'm trying not to get my heart set on things because I'm scared of getting hurt or disappointed. Why should I take risks if nobody else is putting themselves out there. Blah, blah, blah.....you're playing it safe.....yeah, yeah. I want someone to prove to me that I should take a chance and then I will. Somebody's gotta show me a sign. The Batman symbol by chance? Better yet, just give me Batman :)
My three days of fun and playtime are over. It's time to get back to work. I don't know.....I just wish someone would tell me everything is going to work out the way I want it to. That'd be nice. Anyways, until next time!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
New Chapter. New Blog.
Okay, for those you have followed my blog entries.....an important note. That blog no longer exists!!!! I figured with everything going on, I didn't want reminders of my past entries haunting me. It's time for a fresh start. Let me start over for you guys! I'm Candice....the famously ranter of all subjects but mostly boys. (It's not exactly something I'm proud of lol.....I just always have something to say!) I'm about to start my sophomore year of college...and about to turn 20 as well. I'm not a baby anymore :/ I'm currently house hunting with my friend Brittany...who is the sweetest girl I know! Hopefully, we'll find something soon cause we're already tired of looking! lol. I love hanging out with my best friend Christina Gehris...I don't know what I would do without this girl.
My heart has been twisted into so many pieces I don't even know where to begin. Keep in mind, this is past tense.....as in, not anymore. Here's what happened with Cody so I don't have to explain it to anyone anymore. Everything was fine until the 2nd to last week of June. He started hiding my stuff from the apartment...including my flipflops (which is odd). He didn't want to spend time with me anymore. He wanted me to hang out with my family or go to Walnut Grove and when I would go, he'd coaxed me into leaving behind my key to the apartment. He was supposed to pick me up one night from WG when he got off work at 8 so he could look at a table for the apartment we were going to get together. He didn't come pick me up until 2 in the morning and refused to answer any of my calls. He said he was hanging out with a friend from work and went to see a movie. On my way to work the next day...he called and explained that he would be hanging out with this friend at work again. My heart sank and I called into work and rushed back to the apartment to try and talk to him but he was already gone. Long story short, He didn't want us to live together so I packed up my things from the apartment and am living back home. I called him and asked him what was going on and he slipped that there was another girl....but once I displayed the fact that he cheated on me on facebook, he claimed he told me that just to get me off the phone. Whatever. I'd rather someone break up with me over the phone...not facebook just by changing your facebook status and blocking me. Enough about that though.
Anyways, that's what happened for the most part. I'm currently in the best shape I've been in since high school. I see my friends whenever I want to. Someone who was very important in my life a few years ago has helped me forget about Cody completely...that takes skills. I don't think he realizes how much I've missed him and how messed up I've been since he left. I finally feel like I'm the strong girl I used to be. I feel like myself again :)
I better get off here and whatnot, so peace out my lovelies and see you next time :)
My heart has been twisted into so many pieces I don't even know where to begin. Keep in mind, this is past tense.....as in, not anymore. Here's what happened with Cody so I don't have to explain it to anyone anymore. Everything was fine until the 2nd to last week of June. He started hiding my stuff from the apartment...including my flipflops (which is odd). He didn't want to spend time with me anymore. He wanted me to hang out with my family or go to Walnut Grove and when I would go, he'd coaxed me into leaving behind my key to the apartment. He was supposed to pick me up one night from WG when he got off work at 8 so he could look at a table for the apartment we were going to get together. He didn't come pick me up until 2 in the morning and refused to answer any of my calls. He said he was hanging out with a friend from work and went to see a movie. On my way to work the next day...he called and explained that he would be hanging out with this friend at work again. My heart sank and I called into work and rushed back to the apartment to try and talk to him but he was already gone. Long story short, He didn't want us to live together so I packed up my things from the apartment and am living back home. I called him and asked him what was going on and he slipped that there was another girl....but once I displayed the fact that he cheated on me on facebook, he claimed he told me that just to get me off the phone. Whatever. I'd rather someone break up with me over the phone...not facebook just by changing your facebook status and blocking me. Enough about that though.
Anyways, that's what happened for the most part. I'm currently in the best shape I've been in since high school. I see my friends whenever I want to. Someone who was very important in my life a few years ago has helped me forget about Cody completely...that takes skills. I don't think he realizes how much I've missed him and how messed up I've been since he left. I finally feel like I'm the strong girl I used to be. I feel like myself again :)
I better get off here and whatnot, so peace out my lovelies and see you next time :)
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